This is where I come to roost.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Home? Again?

We've been in Missoula this week. Our homestay is...interesting. But being here is always very nice. It's great to have a week off...with no rumpelstiltskins and no kids. And today's my birthday! Yip.

23...they add up to 5! For whatever reason, 22 still felt young, and 23 feels real old. I'm not totally sure why.

I got to see Jesus Christ Superstar tonight for the very first time. It was a very nice production. Of course there were faults, and Hanover trained me well in the over-analization(sp?) department. I'm very jealous of this theatre being able to call itself a "community" theatre. It's incredible what they're able to do. Truly amazing.

I couldn't help but think how similar the Jesus Christ story is to that of Barack Obama's. Take away the miracles (which I doubt are true, BIG TIME, anyway) and they're even more eerily similar. I sent in my absentee ballot today, and I voted for him, but I've never fully trusted him. I get an eerie feeling when I look at him. But, as the show I got me thinking about it, I'll point out my feelings. Jesus came on to the scene quickly and strongly, filling people with "hope" more than anything. Soon they became frustrated with him, and were the cause of his eventual downfall. If Obama wins the election how long until everyone's disappointed with him? Most of his suppoters are the eternally disappointed types. If he's elected will he last a second term? Will he last 4 years? Worst of all, might he be assassinated?

The show was beautiful. I'm proud of working for this company.

After the show, we went to a bar for some karaoke and festive-ness. It was fun. Casey and I sang "baba o'reilly" by the who, and it was alot of fun. On top of it, we killed apparently, at least all the compliments we received seem that way.

All in all, a good way to start my birthday off...the whole bar sang to me. How cute. We're going to a corn maze in Hamilton, MT tomorrow. Should be fun.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Wassup 2008

Remember the Budweiser "Wassup?!?" Guys? Here they are 8 years later.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

It was like a little wooden oasis that you couldn't escape from...

So, I've been without real stable internet for oh say...3 weeks now.

In Circle, MT I stayed in an old lady's house and if I sat in a certain chair with my computer hiked up at a certain angle I could get the internet.

The next week, in Williston, ND, I connected to what I believe was there home wireless router. Unfortunately, my area was the basement, and so it was very slow and unstable there.

Last week....let's talk about last week.

The shows went well...two shows on Friday, at 3:00 and 5:30. The new times were a different thing for us. I liked it better.

We stayed in a beautiful house. An amazing house. It was brand new, spacious...oh so many things. There was no phone, and no internet. So that sucked. But it was REALLY nice, and I miss it already.

Now in Missoula for a week off, I'm staying at a hippie's house. She's a real hippie. No TV, her fridge is filled with nothing but organic greens, and she has a meditation room.

She has internet, which I'm using currently, but she'll be home over the next couple days and then its back to sitting in a certain chair to connect to a vaguely strong wireless connection.

The name of the network is "bliss."

Thursday, October 16, 2008

How are we going to rip his arms off?

Our week ere this week has been going smashingly, even if I can't write letters to give the parents for shit. I just keep making small mistakes in the letters. Good thing is, the people here are so friendly and nice, they've began thinking its funny. And not in that "we're acting like its funny but completely dissapointed in you way." They're extremely understanding, and have been at it a long time, so if the letters say something they're not used to, they just assume the ltter's wrong, and they're usually correct.

I'm a very paranoid person as far as my job performance. I feel like every contact has a shortlist of things they hope for me to accomplish. I probably spend alot more time thinking about the evaluations that the contacts fill out after we're gone than the average person who does my job. I've always been that way about anything. I think every tiny mistake I make is getting written down and sent to my boss where they spend time talking about me and how terrible I am. Well, I hope they don't.

It's amazing the feeling that you get when you have a good week, after a really bad week. Last week was by far, our worst. (And I know I say this alot, but its very true in this case.) This week, is by far-blow our other weeks away, scary good - best week ever. The ease of this week compared to the last few weeks just brings me so much joy. Casey and I feel like we're floating, its excellent. Quite excellent.

Monday, October 13, 2008

A Bad Show

Our show on Saturday was bad.

For lots of reasons, here's one:

There's a young 6 year old. The principal was against us casting him from day one. We cast him, because our numbers were right. We probably wouldn't have cast him if we did cuts. But we didn't do cuts, so he got cast.

We handled him pretty well during the break. He quit every day at some point, but Casey and I were able to talk him down. He quit during the dress rehearsal on Saturday, but I talked him back into being in the show.

I'm not sure what he deals with at home, but he's really a sweet kid. I talked to him for a long time as I was convincing him he wanted to be in the show. he told me that he "plays the guitar, and likes to write songs" He explained that he watches movies with songs and then writes new songs for them, and he had written a funny song for the dogs from Fox and the Hound 2...and that he'd also written a new song for the Bees in Rumpelstiltskin.

Its called "Sugar Bee" Lyrics follow:

Sugar Bee
Sugar Bee
Come Dance with me

He said he hadn't written down the rest cause the rest was very long. we had a nice conversation, and I kept him back in the show.

During the show, he quit again, i did my usual, walking up to him, telling him he couldn't quit. Then he tried to run, again normal. But this time, he couldn't go out into the lobby...there was an audience, so I kept him from going there, so he ran somewhere else...almost on stage...but I kept him from there. He tried to jump over the counter in the cafeteria. There was definitely something mentally unstable with him, the boy had snapped. I picked him up to keep him from flying over, and to try to calm him down.

As I set him down he ran through the cafeteria picking up bags with people's clothing in them and yelling at me "bag head!" then he'd throw water bottles "Water head" and lunch boxes "lunch head"

Finally, to keep him from making any more destruction, I picked him up...he began kicking me in the balls, and smacking me, and finally pulling my beard yelling "I got his beard!" Keep in mind, all the bees are laughing at this the whole time...I don't blame them "Bag head!" I'd probably have laughed if I wasn't the bag head.

So I had an AD go get the principal out of the audience. Keep in mind, the principal isn't a very nice woman, and especially not to this little boy. She very forcefully pulled the boy from the cafeteria and sat him in the lobby. He wasn't going to finish the show.

I felt like a failure. I couldn't handle this kid. This is my job.

Mom and Grandma were able to talk him down, and he did eventually finish out the show...thought getting him ready again caused all the bees to be late for their entrance, among other issues.

But...that's a story, isn't it?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Theatre

I broke into theatre in high school. I was taking a shakespeare class with an English teacher at Pike Central. There were only 7 of us in the class, and we basically spent all of our class time reading scripts outloud and trading off roles. (I believe we did Taming of the Shrew, Midsummer, Othello, and...a couple others, I can't remember what they were) At any rate, it was at this time that they were doing auditions for the fall play, and an exchange student from Australia talked about trying out for the play one day. My teacher suggested I try out as well, and the Australian girl agreed. I thought about it, reluctant to, because at that point I didn't realize the school even did a play AND a musical and in those days I didn't want to sing.

But i did, and I was cast. The way this particular play worked, All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten it gave Hays, our director, some freedom in casting. The show has a hard-line cast of 5...but its not a linear play, just a series of very vaguely intertwined vignettes. So he passed out the scenes and characters to the different people. Our high school theatre was very hierarchical. Seniors received, and still receive highest priority for the largest roles, and it doesn't hurt to be one of Hays' favorites. Two of Hays' favorites, two seniors received 7 scenes a piece. The third favorite received 6. He cast me in 7. I am still proud of that. I was nervous as hell, but very proud of it.

There is this particular monologue he gave to me in it about listening to a Beethoven symphony to lift me out of an emotional funk. It was very long, and relied solely on my shoulders as a performer. I think writing this blog at all came out of thoughts I had about what it would be like if I were to be given that Beethoven Monologue again to perform. Of course, it would seem i could do it even better now, with the experience and knowledge I've gained since then. But another part of me wishes I could go back to the raw, innocence of how I approached it the first time.

I know now if I were handed the monologue. I'd be dissapointed in it, because its not a good monologue, its not well written, its boring even. But I never had a thought like that then. I didn't know plays could be anything but exciting. Part of me is afraid that I know that part of me is gone completely.

I did 5 more shows at school, and 5 more shows at neighboring community theatres before I graduated high school. I had found this thing that made me happy, and it seemed maybe I was actually good at it so I leapt on it and I wouldn't let go.

When I got to college I was very green as far as theatre, but so very excited to be going there and learning new things about it and was so excited for it my freshman year. My mentor there, Paul Hildebrand reminisces often about an e-mail I sent him before I got there about how excited I was to do theatre, and how I wanted to do it anywhere I possibly could, and how I couldn't wait to get started at Hanover.

I was still riding the high horse after the first year at Hanover when I felt like I'd learned so much and was able to go back home to direct The Music Man with this wealth of knowledge that I didn't have before. It did really help with The Music Man and that show was very successful for the theatre (I belive its still might be the biggest grosser for Veale Creek...but probably because we had about 2 more performances than they normally do) I went back to school my sophomore year and started to get a little bit in the doldrums at the school...maybe for a lot of reasons. My closest friends from the year before mostly started to become affiliated with greek organizations...which, whether they liked it or not, was not good for our friendship. I was also becoming more pretentious (Hanover College is a pretension factory, doing its best to shoot you out in four years a stuffed-shirt, pretentious, liberal thinking reactionary) that year as I was taking classes I'd never thought about before like theology and philosophy, and was riding the high of The Music Man thing and everything else in theatre going so well.

Sophomore year I was still eager for theatre, though getting bogged down in getting all my other stuff done at the school was slowly creeping its way in.

Then I worked at Shawnee Summer Theatre for a summer. It was here that I received a most rude of awakenings. I suddenly was a tiny fish tossed into the sea with people who had trained at better schools, and had been going at it longer, and doing it better for sometime. I met some real actors, worked with the winner of Division III Irene Ryan, who's become a good friend, and was left to do a lot of thinking about where I was in theatre. In short, it made me bitter as hell.

Had I picked a horrible college? I didn't put a lot of thought into it. Why don't get to do things that they do? Why do I still, to this day, know nothing about the Meisner technique? Why didn't I hear anything about the Alexander technique until my final weeks at the college? What are all these things these people are learning that I am not(I could go on)? Thankfully I used alot of it to improve, learning alot of new things from my friends at Shawnee that made me a much better actor going into HC that year. The department recognized it too, I was cast as the lead in 2 of 4 plays, and was told by the director of a third that I auditioned best for a lead but he knew I was going to be the lead in another one and wanted to spread the wealth.

The mix of this success and the sudden bitterness over my (lack of) theatre education blew my head up. I became very temperamental and judgmental my junior year. Not to mention I was getting more and more tired of Hanover itself. If i hadn't gotten a job that I really loved at a local winery that year, things could've been much worse. It provided distraction from the theatre department I was beginning to severely dislike, as well as just gave me a different environment to get away from school at. (Not to mention, tasty wines.)

i became a person that year that I deeply regret now. I even got into a verbal confrontation with one of my closest teachers/directors over his "lack of organization" I was a prick. Thankfully that very teacher was the one that called me out on it at the end of the year, and it really hit home to me. I understood exactly what he was saying, and maybe hadn't realized until then just how I'd let things blow up.

Another summer at the Shawnee and senior year at Hanover...I was more balanced. There's a part of me that I've retained that is demanding of the people I do theatre with, but is not bitter or as confrontational as I once was. I did end up quitting the production of Oedipus I was cast in that year, so some of that negativity obviously still remained. But, I've never regretted my decision to drop out of the show, and the reasons were far less personal than they must've seemed.

At any rate, while I still came out of my very bitter Junior year with a jaded opinion of the theatre education one receives at Hanover, I was able to function without letting that bitterness be what was ruling my work in the building. I was also becoming more and more distanced from theatre. I wasn't in love with it they way I was before...(then stepped in Improv and the trip to Chicago, but that's another blog)and I'm probably not as in love with it now as I was. (Might explain why I wrote all this out.)

It is another bog, but doing improv had stepped in and become something I loved and still love now as much as i did then. This helped harbor a friendship with the two men I consider my best friends(besides Casey of course) at Hanover, Jon and Brandon. And in Spring term, I had the definite best days of my life at Hanover. Every night Jon, Brandon, and I were having fun. Improv was going wonderfully.

But most of all, I made up with the man whom I'd focused most of my negative attention towards at Hanover. We never really spoke about it outright, but both I and one of my professor's (different from the two mentioned before) had an unspoken dislike for each other. We were tolerant of one another, but I had no respect for him, and he had little interest in me. But, something about the class I took with him that last term, maybe it just finally broke. It was clear that we were tired of harboring such negative feelings for eachother, and just become collaeagues. Friends, even, I hope.

I graduated in not only a better place, but the best place emotionally I had been at Hanover in four years, and carried that into my current job.

I'm still not sure how I feel about theatre. I love it, I hate it. I enjoy it. Its my job. I love my job. But is it really theatre? The entire world of theatre is very pretentious. Its hard for it not to be. I mean, its playing pretend. Its aggravating.

I know right now, I'd rather do improv. I might wanna go to grad school. I mostly wanna teach high schoolers, teach the type of kids that are like me when I was their age - so excited to do theatre, so eager to learn about it. I got sick of myself when i was a bitter theatre person. I don't want to be around many of those anymore.

If you read all of these words, you're a saint. I really wrote this blog entry for me, as it had been all over my mind the last couple days. Feel free to comment on any part if you'd like. I always wonder if others have similar experiences in theatre as I do.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Blogs, Tour, Etc.

I don't know why I've become so lazy about this blog. I enjoyed doing it at first. I still do, really. I just never get around to doing it when I'm online. (Except when I'm stealing Internet...more on that later.)

There's things I wanna talk about. I badly wanna talk about football. I have alot of opinions about the NFL...but I think most of the people that read here, don't really care about the NFL....so I don't. But I've thought about opening a blog over at FanNation...which is a sports blog site. But then I think, i don't even update my own blog...so I don't.

I have a twitter...which I also don't update enough. But, I do tend to update it more than I update this. And if you dont' have a twitter, you should get one. They're fun and quick. They're supposed to be a mini-blog that tells people who follow your twitters exactly what you're doing at any given moment. They encourage you to quickly get on and just say "at the store" "shaving my body hair" etc. Of course, most people don't just say that. They're little glimpses into a person's personality. Well, mine can be found here.

Maybe this tour's just not interesting? But it is. Maybe the towns we're in aren't as interesting as the summer. They're not. But, there is still interesting stuff going on. We've had tougher weeks, and maybe I'm just more fatigued.

I wanna tell you to keep checking here, I'm going to update more often, I promise! But....I don't know that I will. I really HOPE I will. I like the idea that people wanna know what I'm up to, or enjoy an update on me, just because I feel the same about them, and anyone who may read this...I'd like to know what you're doing too. But, for whatever reason, I don't update this like I should.

At any rate, we're in Circle, MT this week. It's even smaller than Bridger was. We spent alot of money on GROCERIES. So we can cook our own meals. We're staying in an old lady's house. She isn't home. They just gave us a house. So we've been cooking. That's nice. No internet. Unless I scoot just to the left on the air mattress. Then I get internet. That's where I am now.

Where are you?