My greatest fear.

Is probably the possibility of ever leading my life suffereing from dimentia.

But related to that, is probably my second greatest fear. Becoming "old."

Now, I know I'll age, and I actually don't mind that. I've wanted my hair to turn white since I was a very young man.

What I'm afraid of is becoming "old." Becoming one of those people who decides the world must now respect me, and I have no reason to change with it. I never want to be too afraid, too smug, or too unaware to just let the world pass me up. I dread the possibility.

I really have very very little patience for those people who behave in that way. I think again it comes from theatre (and my ever constant love-hate relationship with it.)

In Theatre it seems that everyone has an age where they decide they know everything about how it all works and they will never ever do it differently again. They'll never take the time to look at themselves and see how they might improve the way they do things. They simply continue, giving themselves the benefit of the doubt that all their "experience" and "knowledge" must make them absolutely infallible in every instance. I've worked with more than one person like this. I've worked with many people like this.

Theatre is no doubt where it comes from in my life, but also all my years in church does not help. Essentially after being a very steadfastly believing, extremely faithful Christian for many years, those sort of people destroyed my faith. I've really held alot of resentment for them ever since.

It's like a pair of goggles. Once you're old enough to have them on, you never believe you need to self-evaluate, notice the way things are now different, the way the world has changed. I really really am scared that I'll ever wear those goggles. I really hope that with everything I do, I find a way to keep myself active and aware even in my advanced years.

On a happier note, Casey is in Hanover to see her play, Slaying the Dragon, and she was very excited about how the run went last night! I'm happy for her.

Political Debate

I like it better when its an improv game.

I keep getting in a heated political argument with some fellow message boarders at a forum I frequent.

The gist: I believe that liberals need to calm down their blood-thristy attitude towards the right and start moving towards unity and tolerance of those on the right, those that we don't think are smarter than us, and those we disagree with.

Their arugment: They know they're bitter, but its absolutely justified, and they're in the right. They never argue that they AREN'T bitter.

So, we're really not disagreeing are we? Politics are annoying.

Seems like I should post.

Hey all. There really isn't ALOT to post about. I mean, I've been doing exactly the same things I always have been. We've had a couple of really excellent weeks. It's all just been going well in general with the job.

Next week will be interesting.

Life has been very focused on Casey and her play being performed at Hanover lately. Stress has been roller coaster-ish with it. She's been reading some things in rehearsal reports she doesn't like, and doing her best to put in her two cents to try to be a little more pleased with things. She's usually faced with a lack of cooperation, for various reasons, so she's been up and down about it.

The word from everyone involved at the moment is very good though, so I'm hoping the best for her. It's been...a process.

I have had to resist my urges to want to jump into the process somehow and defend Casey and her feelings (it is her play after all) and put my 2 - 4 cents in and assert my feelings...but I've resisted. There's plenty of things that I've disagreed with and felt very strongly about from my position, but I realize its important to let Casey experience the struggles and obstacles on her own.

I'm proud of myself for the resistance I've shown. I'm very...passionate in such issues, and at one time not long ago was far too quick to assert my positions and do my best to push...whether appropriate or not. I'm still that way instinctually, but have devloped a much better meter for portioning it properly.

This week is going to be....a struggle of sorts. Its a first time town, we're doing our first ever assembly workshop, and I'm driving 4 hours to Salt Lake City on Wednesday night so she can be on her plane early thursday morning. I'm gonna stay with her that night, and head back the next morning and meet my new temporary partner Josh.

Then I'm going to go to Salt Lake City myself after our performance on Saturday night (which our fleet manager does not prefer, but I have little choice) and sleeping in the terminal (i've done it before, makes me feel alive! ;)) before boarding my early morning plane and barring any delays seeing Casey's show at Hanover that evening.

It'll be a whirlwind. Which will pay off with 2 days in my favorite city with my favorite people. Ahhh, Chicago.

Now that it's over,

I'm officially done with:

dogging John McCain and his campaign.

hearing about Sarah Palin.

(and because of the two above)

watching MSNBC. (They can't, rather, won't move on.)

(added later) and also: witty people who put "hussein" as their middle name on facebook.

This election turned liberals into blood-thirsty hate mongers. Sure, that's the way so many McCain supporters were behaving, right up to their "booing" at Obama's name during McCain's concession speech, but isn't the point of liberalism to reject that intolerant, snappy, quick-judged behavior?

I'm glad the election is over, because liberals were seething with hate...all while their candidate was representing the utmost of humility, courage, and cooperation. I hope now, quickly, the image of democrats and liberalism can go back to being what it was. Tolerant of all ideas, supportive of all rights...which includes free speech, whether you like what they're saying or not.

The battle is over, let's wash away the bloodshed now. Please?